rambling

I've been wondering lately... is it even what he wants?

I've been in my own world, doing what I think is right, shutting out feelings and focusing on others and trying to get life to a state of normalcy. But am I fighting a losing battle? Am I just dragging things out?

I'm such a terrible person in some ways - so whining and controlling, I complain all the time about every little thing... but is it because I like to, or because i just feel like I'm the minority and I need to feel like I'm a bigger part of things? Maybe its all psychological?

I ask too many questions, and I tell people too much. On reflection, I really should just listen to what other people need, instead of doing everything I can to get what I need. I never denied I was selfish, not once, but that doesn't make things easier does it...

tell me what you want, tell me what you need, please ...