" Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now"
Hayley Williams
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
irregular
I remember at a time I was trying to blog every Monday to Friday, somewhere along the line I got a bit distracted - which is a pity because rambling about things generally makes me a more stable person.
So I leave to go to England in 2 days, and I have no idea what is in store for me there. I'm so anxious and excited to meet family, and to catch up with old friends, it's going to be amazing! I can't help but wonder if that is all there is, or if there is more and the only way I'll find it is to push myself out of this comfort zone... everything is easy and somewhat monotonous, but what if a challenge and living in absolute fear with crazy eyes is what I need for a while?
Dad had his scope-test-thing done today, and there is no ulcer! Just a hernia or something trivial that a round of meds should clear up, then he'll be right as rain - which is such a relief!
little things:
- coffee with friends is great
- huskies are so therapeutic
- silver shampoo makes your hair feel like silk
- packing light is not easy
- rings made from shells are inspirational
- Kurt Cobain was very creative
Enjoy your Tuesday!
So I leave to go to England in 2 days, and I have no idea what is in store for me there. I'm so anxious and excited to meet family, and to catch up with old friends, it's going to be amazing! I can't help but wonder if that is all there is, or if there is more and the only way I'll find it is to push myself out of this comfort zone... everything is easy and somewhat monotonous, but what if a challenge and living in absolute fear with crazy eyes is what I need for a while?
Dad had his scope-test-thing done today, and there is no ulcer! Just a hernia or something trivial that a round of meds should clear up, then he'll be right as rain - which is such a relief!
little things:
- coffee with friends is great
- huskies are so therapeutic
- silver shampoo makes your hair feel like silk
- packing light is not easy
- rings made from shells are inspirational
- Kurt Cobain was very creative
Enjoy your Tuesday!
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
something profound...
Five Lessons About How To Treat People
-- Author Unknown
1. First Important Lesson - "Know The Cleaning Lady"
During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until I read the last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"
Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.
"Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello."
I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.
2. Second Important Lesson - "Pickup In The Rain"
One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car.
A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.
She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home.
A special note was attached. It read: "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away. God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others."
Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole.
3. Third Important Lesson - "Remember Those Who Serve"
In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10 year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. "How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked. "50¢," replied the waitress.
The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.
"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired. By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient. "35¢!" she brusquely replied.
The little boy again counted his coins. "I'll have the plain ice cream," he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left.
When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies. You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.
4. Fourth Important Lesson - "The Obstacles In Our Path"
In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.
Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand - "Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition."
5. Fifth Important Lesson - "Giving When It Counts"
Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare and serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year-old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes, I'll do it if it will save her."
As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheeks. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away?".
Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.
-- Author Unknown
1. First Important Lesson - "Know The Cleaning Lady"
During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until I read the last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"
Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.
"Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello."
I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.
2. Second Important Lesson - "Pickup In The Rain"
One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car.
A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.
She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home.
A special note was attached. It read: "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away. God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others."
Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole.
3. Third Important Lesson - "Remember Those Who Serve"
In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10 year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. "How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked. "50¢," replied the waitress.
The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.
"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired. By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient. "35¢!" she brusquely replied.
The little boy again counted his coins. "I'll have the plain ice cream," he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left.
When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies. You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.
4. Fourth Important Lesson - "The Obstacles In Our Path"
In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.
Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand - "Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition."
5. Fifth Important Lesson - "Giving When It Counts"
Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare and serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year-old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes, I'll do it if it will save her."
As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheeks. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away?".
Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
dum diddle di deee
I haven't blogged in a while, I've been sick with the flu (I pity people who get this more than once a year - it's terrible! I am such a shocking sick person!) to top that off my super fabulissss feline compatriot has left this world... my little lioncat :( So my mood has not been in a creative place lately, but I'll find some inspiration again soon.
1 month today I'll see my mom, how I miss her!
xxx
1 month today I'll see my mom, how I miss her!
xxx
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
something I found on facebook...
HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.
The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.
The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
glasgow 25-27 july
I'm over-the-moon-crazy-extatic-excited-mad-happy to be going to Glasgow! I'll be seeing a fantastic friend of mine, Trudy, and her wonderful boys! It's going to be so great!
It's so nice to start making plans for my holiday, 6 weeks today is take off... I should probably start making a list of things to take with me...
I Love lists! ;)
It's so nice to start making plans for my holiday, 6 weeks today is take off... I should probably start making a list of things to take with me...
I Love lists! ;)
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
humble truths
I'd like to run away
From you,
But if you didn't come
And find me ...
I would die.
~ by Shirley Bassey ~
From you,
But if you didn't come
And find me ...
I would die.
~ by Shirley Bassey ~
he's home
I just got the call, he's home and watching some news then having a little nap. Feeling a bit groggy but not sore or dizzy *squeals with excitement* It's like a weight's been lifted, now 6 weeks to get himself ready to fly!
Monday, June 7, 2010
20.9.2003
So much of my life is consumed by feelings and thoughts for the passed year. Most of my thoughts and feelings have been of him. To this day I cannot remember a single feeling that has been constant. He's been so many things to me, I've had so many different opinions of him. I've wanted nothing from him but love. Unfortunately I've lost. I've given him all the love I have, it's left me empty and his love is not there to fill the void. It never will be. Not a day goes by where I don't feel the heartache. I think of everything good that's ever happened but before long it leads to disappointment. That disappointment makes the pain 10 times more realistic. It is real. The way he feels is real. My idea of being with him is a dream...
My favourite dream
My favourite dream
31 august in another trip around the sun...
Time speeds up
Tomorrow soon becomes yesterday
As I stand here the
Lies are stripped away
I stand here naked
All you see is me
Nothing is hidden
I stand here in honesty.
Tomorrow soon becomes yesterday
As I stand here the
Lies are stripped away
I stand here naked
All you see is me
Nothing is hidden
I stand here in honesty.
old school
Once upon a time
A little while ago
I thought I loved you
Until I let you go
I saw the way you left
Like you didn't really care
It's now become quite obvious
It's better with you there
It may be harder
Yes that's true
But I just cant
Handle seeing you
Definitely not now at least
Maybe the day will come
where we can have a conversation
Or something close to one
Maybe with time
Jealously will subside
Maybe a time will come
When I can admit I lied
I lied about my feelings
I hid them all from you
The fact that I was in love
Was very very true
If you had known
You would have run
And that would've ended
All my fun
For that bit of joy
I'll bear all this pain
It's a pity that things
Wont ever be the same again
A little while ago
I thought I loved you
Until I let you go
I saw the way you left
Like you didn't really care
It's now become quite obvious
It's better with you there
It may be harder
Yes that's true
But I just cant
Handle seeing you
Definitely not now at least
Maybe the day will come
where we can have a conversation
Or something close to one
Maybe with time
Jealously will subside
Maybe a time will come
When I can admit I lied
I lied about my feelings
I hid them all from you
The fact that I was in love
Was very very true
If you had known
You would have run
And that would've ended
All my fun
For that bit of joy
I'll bear all this pain
It's a pity that things
Wont ever be the same again
old school
Tears begin to fall
flooding my life with rain
These arent just ordinary tears
they are ones born in pain
I can't believe it's happened
you and me apart
No matter how hard I try
I cant get you out of my heart
flooding my life with rain
These arent just ordinary tears
they are ones born in pain
I can't believe it's happened
you and me apart
No matter how hard I try
I cant get you out of my heart
old school
I don't understand why you act this way. What you do. What you say. If there are signs I'm blind I cannot see and it seems you can't see what you do to me. How I feel I'm still unsure but I would be proud to be called yours. For now I'll look and not touch, until you let me do as much.
monday
I'm so thankful for warm hats, hot coffee and lovely mints. I'm thankful for amazing friends who eat seafood at the end of a little drive. I'm thankful for family that do so much by just carrying on as normal, welcoming me into their little comfort bubble that is my home away from home...
As horrific as life may seem sometimes, there is always something to be thankful for. Skies may be grey and moods bleak but you just need to remember the days of laughter in the sunshine and believe that they'll be back soon.
As horrific as life may seem sometimes, there is always something to be thankful for. Skies may be grey and moods bleak but you just need to remember the days of laughter in the sunshine and believe that they'll be back soon.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
my superhero
It's the most disgusting horrible vile feeling - like your heart has been raped, crushed and left to die. Its NEVER fair - and what's worse is it will never make sense... but we never stop asking why - even when after so many years we begin to feel some peace. I wish I could bear this pain for you - I wish I could be there to endure grief with you... know that I am thinking of you every second.
You are not alone, you are so loved... and I know right now all you can think of is her, and the million opportunities there will never be, and it's like there is a bubble around you isolating you from the world... When the time comes for you to glimpse past all that you feel if only for a short time, I will be there... so will your friends, and your family - ready to lighten the load when you feel you can share it.
I love you as much as a girl can love a boy that is her best friend, I am here for you whenever you need me - now and for the rest of your life xxx
You are not alone, you are so loved... and I know right now all you can think of is her, and the million opportunities there will never be, and it's like there is a bubble around you isolating you from the world... When the time comes for you to glimpse past all that you feel if only for a short time, I will be there... so will your friends, and your family - ready to lighten the load when you feel you can share it.
I love you as much as a girl can love a boy that is her best friend, I am here for you whenever you need me - now and for the rest of your life xxx
love
such an amazing thing... felt in so many ways accross the most vast distances...
thank you for your love - thank you for your support, it's meant the world to me!
the sun is shining, the air is warm and its going to be a fantastic day!!
thank you for your love - thank you for your support, it's meant the world to me!
the sun is shining, the air is warm and its going to be a fantastic day!!
Saturday, May 29, 2010
blah blah blah
well dad is doing better so that's good news. But I'm finding the solitude too much to bear. I've cleaned up as much as I can, fed him and watered him and made sure he's taken his tablets... but now I just feel so lonely. I seem to have chased away the 1 person who could make me feel better right now and I have no idea why. I'm a little cold and a little empty and I'm not really sure why I feel this way... oh well I'll just take my mind off it and distract myself. I'm really not whats important here - dad is and he's getting better :D
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
song love
John Mayer - Your body is a wonderland
We got the afternoon
You got this room for two
One thing I’ve left to do
Discover me
Discovering you
One mile to every inch of
Your skin like porcelain
One pair of candy lips and
Your bubblegum tongue
And if you want love
we’ll make it
swim in a deep sea
of blankets
take all your big plans
and break ‘em
this is bound to be a while
your body is a wonderland
your body is a wonder (I’ll use my hands)
your body is a wonderland
something ‘bout the way your hair falls in your face
I love the shape you take when crawling towards the pillowcase
You tell me where to go and
Though I might leave to find it
I’ll never let your head hit the bed
Without my hand behind it
You want love?
We’ll make it
Swim in a deep sea
Of blankets
Take all your big plans
And break ‘em
This is bound to be a while
your body is a wonderland
your body is a wonder (I’ll use my hands)
your body is a wonderland
damn baby
you frustrate me
I know you’re mine all mine all mine
But you look so good it hurts sometimes
your body is a wonderland
I need a good cuddle sesh... no series or movies or anything on in the background. Just a lovely lazy-on-the-couch-cuddle sesh. The kind when you first meet someone and their body is still new and undiscovered... all that matters are body warmth and heart beats... that is what I want.
more old thoughts...
you know what - its not a choice between you and him. its a choice between 10% with him or 100% without him. that is the choice i have to make. and who's to say that me without him is what you want. who's to say i can ever have you? who's to say i can be everything you deserve and more. for something that shouldn't be about you, i can hardly separate you from it. what type of person does that make me? how pathetic does that make me?
another you
Isn't it weird how the people who have the ability to make us the happiest just end up breaking our hearts? Someone you feel you can relate to more than anyone, you love their company, their humour, their phone calls, their silence, their smile but most of all: their imperfections. You put so much energy into that one person, without even realising it, you centre life around them. Everything goes so well, life seems to rock and you just don't care about anything, as long as your someone is there... then you wake up. You wake up to the imperfections. It hurts. It hurts more and more every day. People die and you miss them, but when people just slip away they are still there, they just didn't choose you. Your life ends. You cant get up and carry on. You have to rebuild it all - become another you.
for shan
Every song I begin to sing
Brings me back to you
Every star set in the sky
Reminds me of you too
Not a single day goes by
When I don't wonder where you are
So I go outside, to the night sky
And search for you in the stars
I feel some kind of comfort
Knowing that somewhere you live on
But my heart still aches, all the time
Knowing that for now, you're gone
Brings me back to you
Every star set in the sky
Reminds me of you too
Not a single day goes by
When I don't wonder where you are
So I go outside, to the night sky
And search for you in the stars
I feel some kind of comfort
Knowing that somewhere you live on
But my heart still aches, all the time
Knowing that for now, you're gone
i remember
The first time I met you
I wanted to meet more
The first time I hugged you
I started to adore
The first time I held your hand
I didn't want to let go
The first time I kissed you
Passion started to grow
The last time I hugged you
The passion wasn't there
The last time I held your hand
Well, you couldn't care
The last time I kissed you
It all seemed so fake
Now when I see you
All I feel is heartache
I wanted to meet more
The first time I hugged you
I started to adore
The first time I held your hand
I didn't want to let go
The first time I kissed you
Passion started to grow
The last time I hugged you
The passion wasn't there
The last time I held your hand
Well, you couldn't care
The last time I kissed you
It all seemed so fake
Now when I see you
All I feel is heartache
from another place and time
Hmmm, as I sit here and type I think about life and how much I hate it right now. There are so many superficial people in this world, it makes getting to know someone impossible and then if you are lucky enough to penetrate ones surface, how long will that person be the person you know?
" I'm trying to be so perfect cause i know you're worth it "
It's kind of funny that we try so hard to please the people that ultimately cannot be pleased. Try to love the people that will not return the love. Be friends with the people that don't want or need our friendship. Is it really worth it? All the pain, heartache, disappointment?
" I know you're worth it "
That's the key. Knowing somebody is worth it. Then you will reach a point of loving selflessly, loving with the hope that one day that person will realise the way you are, think and act. And not only realise but understand. So what if the feelings are not reciprocated, you will know that person knows why. In life reason is everything. If people were honest about why they do the things they do, life would be so much easier.
" I'm trying to be so perfect cause i know you're worth it "
It's kind of funny that we try so hard to please the people that ultimately cannot be pleased. Try to love the people that will not return the love. Be friends with the people that don't want or need our friendship. Is it really worth it? All the pain, heartache, disappointment?
" I know you're worth it "
That's the key. Knowing somebody is worth it. Then you will reach a point of loving selflessly, loving with the hope that one day that person will realise the way you are, think and act. And not only realise but understand. So what if the feelings are not reciprocated, you will know that person knows why. In life reason is everything. If people were honest about why they do the things they do, life would be so much easier.
Monday, May 24, 2010
old school
Life and love so easily said but life and love mix up your head. Somehow they both get you into bed and then your heart ends up better left for dead. People play you, corrupt you, betray you, back stab you, lie to you, don't care to cry for you - you think you know them but really you don't - give them a 2nd chance - forget it don't. It's not worth it for you, they'll fuck you over again. Cut them off now, cut off the pain. Don't let them control you and your life, you only live once you don't need the strife. So forget the people who caused the pain, all they are is a face without a name. You owe them nothing, nothing at all...
Friday, May 21, 2010
awww - some good ones :D
The 36 Rules of Life
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. Don’t worry about what people think, they don’t do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
1 4. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a muffin in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you’ve kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides nice contrast to the real world.
25. It ain’t the jeans that make your butt look fat.
26. If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved it’s full potential, that word would be ‘meetings’.
27. There is a very fine line between ‘hobby’ and ‘mental illness.’
28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
29. You should not confuse your career with your life.
30. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
31. Never lick a steak knife.
32. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
33. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
34. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
35. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that deep down inside we ALL believe we are good drivers.
36. Your friends love you anyway.
from here
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. Don’t worry about what people think, they don’t do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
1 4. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a muffin in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you’ve kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides nice contrast to the real world.
25. It ain’t the jeans that make your butt look fat.
26. If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved it’s full potential, that word would be ‘meetings’.
27. There is a very fine line between ‘hobby’ and ‘mental illness.’
28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
29. You should not confuse your career with your life.
30. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
31. Never lick a steak knife.
32. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
33. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
34. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
35. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that deep down inside we ALL believe we are good drivers.
36. Your friends love you anyway.
from here
Thursday, May 20, 2010
one of my little pleasures in life
The stripey sock - the longer the better :D
I love stripes on socks, such inner happiness *sigh* I'm feeling considerably better just thinking about these lovely snuggly foot warmers :D my mind is blank to everything else at the moment....
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
random word wednesday!
my word: black
spades - cards - poker - lady gaga - blackberries - hell - jackets - most computer bits - liquorice - sambuca - leather boots - lace - scarves - underwear - cats - snakes - iris' - eclipse's - some ppls hearts - darkness - cold - domino's - grand piano's - cars - fridges - my kettle & toaster - tv's - sunglasses - bermuda triangle - skin - africa - rascism - knife handles - coffee canisters - the bottom of the ocean - outer space - msn themes - spiders - ants - black cat peanut butter - scorpions - cardboard - pens - calculators - mascara - eyeliner - metal - man scrunchies - top hats - zippos' - suits - pinstripes - old bananas - beetles - bags - dvd cases - thunder - bruises - heartache - oil - lies - deceit - sound garden - ice - coffee - hate - nails - chalk boards - death - aubergine - crispy potato skin - starry skies - black adder - north pole - tar - burning rubber - barcodes - zebra's - depth - addiction - little black books - humbugs - wilson's toffees - sludge - drew's wine glass - roses - tattoos - eyelids
:D
spades - cards - poker - lady gaga - blackberries - hell - jackets - most computer bits - liquorice - sambuca - leather boots - lace - scarves - underwear - cats - snakes - iris' - eclipse's - some ppls hearts - darkness - cold - domino's - grand piano's - cars - fridges - my kettle & toaster - tv's - sunglasses - bermuda triangle - skin - africa - rascism - knife handles - coffee canisters - the bottom of the ocean - outer space - msn themes - spiders - ants - black cat peanut butter - scorpions - cardboard - pens - calculators - mascara - eyeliner - metal - man scrunchies - top hats - zippos' - suits - pinstripes - old bananas - beetles - bags - dvd cases - thunder - bruises - heartache - oil - lies - deceit - sound garden - ice - coffee - hate - nails - chalk boards - death - aubergine - crispy potato skin - starry skies - black adder - north pole - tar - burning rubber - barcodes - zebra's - depth - addiction - little black books - humbugs - wilson's toffees - sludge - drew's wine glass - roses - tattoos - eyelids
:D
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
mommy mommy i made soup!!!!!!
Remember when I was little and you made it - I'd rather have starved than have lumpy bits in liquid for dinner? Well I made some last night AND I like it :D Aren't you proud
-garlic
-leak
-onion
-butternut
-carrot
-potato
-chicken
-noodles
-coriander
*omnomnomnomnomnom*
thanks to my fabulisssss sister for inspiration - love you bokka!
Monday, May 17, 2010
mishmash
Today I'm not in a chatty mood, I don't even feel like chatting with myself in the confines of my mind - which is odd because there are usually a million things flying around my mind...
My ears are however lovely and warm, I love my new hat :D of that I am certain!
Plans for today are a little grey and swirly - I have no idea what is happening and therefore I think I have turned off for the day - quite nice really, even if its only 12:40 heehee!
I must just say I feel absolutely awful for almost burning my brother's brain. He's all blistery and it's all my fault and I will never look at his right ear the same again *cries*
My ears are however lovely and warm, I love my new hat :D of that I am certain!
Plans for today are a little grey and swirly - I have no idea what is happening and therefore I think I have turned off for the day - quite nice really, even if its only 12:40 heehee!
I must just say I feel absolutely awful for almost burning my brother's brain. He's all blistery and it's all my fault and I will never look at his right ear the same again *cries*
Friday, May 14, 2010
song love
you tube link to this lovely happy song called rocket, by goldfrapp :D
starting something, thought it could be fun
i started something, couldn't go wrong
danger, heartache, i'd always knew
there's no winner, in this game you lose
but i still wanna know how she got in the door uninvited
oo-ooh i got a rocket
oo-ooh you're going on it
oo-ooh you're never coming back
this is secrets, stories unfold
flow by pleasure, losing control
danger, heartache, something has died
no good pretending, i'm leaving this time
but i still wanna know how she got in the door uninvited
oo-ooh i got a rocket
oo-ooh you're going on it
oo-ooh you're never coming back
oo-ooh i got a rocket
oo-ooh you're going on it
oo-ooh you're never coming back
you're never coming back
you're never coming back again no no
you're going out on your own
you're never coming back
you're never coming back again oh no
you're going out on your own
oo-ooh i got a rocket
oo-ooh you're going on it
oo-ooh you're never coming back
oo-ooh i got a rocket
oo-ooh you're going on it
oo-ooh you're never coming back
(you're never coming back)
5-4-3-2-1
we have lift off
starting something, thought it could be fun
i started something, couldn't go wrong
danger, heartache, i'd always knew
there's no winner, in this game you lose
but i still wanna know how she got in the door uninvited
oo-ooh i got a rocket
oo-ooh you're going on it
oo-ooh you're never coming back
this is secrets, stories unfold
flow by pleasure, losing control
danger, heartache, something has died
no good pretending, i'm leaving this time
but i still wanna know how she got in the door uninvited
oo-ooh i got a rocket
oo-ooh you're going on it
oo-ooh you're never coming back
oo-ooh i got a rocket
oo-ooh you're going on it
oo-ooh you're never coming back
you're never coming back
you're never coming back again no no
you're going out on your own
you're never coming back
you're never coming back again oh no
you're going out on your own
oo-ooh i got a rocket
oo-ooh you're going on it
oo-ooh you're never coming back
oo-ooh i got a rocket
oo-ooh you're going on it
oo-ooh you're never coming back
(you're never coming back)
5-4-3-2-1
we have lift off
some blog love
clicki here for an incredibly awesome food blog - cupcakes - smoothies - soup - and coconut milk? such variety, just makes my mouth water looking at the pictures! :D
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
one night in parow!
JACK PAROW!
Ohhh what fun :) I went to the CD launch last night - awesome vibe - awesome tunes - awesome shooter girls - awesome show! Love his cap ;)
Monday, May 10, 2010
happy birthday dad
66 years and counting! There have been good times and bad... but always unconditional love - and I wouldn't change him for the world! Love you daddy xxx
Friday, May 7, 2010
friday advice
Have a spectacular weekend - and watch your bottoms! I have heard rumors they are fragile and may chip easily *winks*
Thursday, May 6, 2010
tattoo-ing
I am so undecided....
Do I like them? yes.... On me? not so sure.
Some people have amazing tattoo's. There are meaning behind them, they represent something that person stands for - which is great.... Some people have them as a memory or tribute to loved ones lost along the way, which I love. Some people just look stupid though, and that scares me (check some scary examples here) Then there's deciding what you want - where you want it - how big you want it? So many choices - and what guarantee do you have that the artist who does it isn't going to mess it up?
I think I'll think some more...
Do I like them? yes.... On me? not so sure.
Some people have amazing tattoo's. There are meaning behind them, they represent something that person stands for - which is great.... Some people have them as a memory or tribute to loved ones lost along the way, which I love. Some people just look stupid though, and that scares me (check some scary examples here) Then there's deciding what you want - where you want it - how big you want it? So many choices - and what guarantee do you have that the artist who does it isn't going to mess it up?
I think I'll think some more...
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
my hearts desires
- paint more
-complain less
- trust more
-frown less
- buy more flowers
-drink more wine
- watch the world turn
-write
- do laundry more regularly so I can take time folding my socks right
-take more photo's
- see more people
-paint a wall black and buy some chalk
- frame the people I love so I can see them every day
-procrastinate less
-complain less
- trust more
-frown less
- buy more flowers
-drink more wine
- watch the world turn
-write
- do laundry more regularly so I can take time folding my socks right
-take more photo's
- see more people
-paint a wall black and buy some chalk
- frame the people I love so I can see them every day
-procrastinate less
it's going to be okay
It really will.
I've been drowning myself in self torturous hate and pity the last week. It's really not getting me anywhere. Life is carrying on, life doesn't care that I'm throwing emotional temper tantrums. One day you have to look out the window instead of in the mirror. Breathe in the fresh air instead of tear stained cheeks. So what if life isn't perfect? Is anyone's? Human beings have a strange yet wonderful instinct to survive, no matter how deep you are submerged in darkness there is always a part of you that wants to hold onto the light, its human nature. So while I frantically try to find the direction commonly known as up, a small part of me is comforted by the fact that no matter what path life leads me down, I will be okay - and I will survive - and I will find happiness if I follow my hearts desires.
baby steps. :D
I've been drowning myself in self torturous hate and pity the last week. It's really not getting me anywhere. Life is carrying on, life doesn't care that I'm throwing emotional temper tantrums. One day you have to look out the window instead of in the mirror. Breathe in the fresh air instead of tear stained cheeks. So what if life isn't perfect? Is anyone's? Human beings have a strange yet wonderful instinct to survive, no matter how deep you are submerged in darkness there is always a part of you that wants to hold onto the light, its human nature. So while I frantically try to find the direction commonly known as up, a small part of me is comforted by the fact that no matter what path life leads me down, I will be okay - and I will survive - and I will find happiness if I follow my hearts desires.
baby steps. :D
round 2
"but yea then she asked where I live
as she forgot
and I said well South Africa
and she was kinda surprised... lol
but then she asks me
"Do you need to be black to live in SA...?"
I just replied
ROFL
and said no...
Well I'm white and I'm here "
vindi
as she forgot
and I said well South Africa
and she was kinda surprised... lol
but then she asks me
"Do you need to be black to live in SA...?"
I just replied
ROFL
and said no...
Well I'm white and I'm here "
vindi
heart ache heart break
Anyone want my heart?
Just take it away so I don't have to deal with anything anymore. I'm so full of pain and confusion that its just becoming hate. I hate feeling like this - and I know I'm the only one that can change it. I just have no idea how. Nothing makes sense, everything seems like its the wrong choice.
In my head my choices are different and I see flashes of a future and life so contrasting to the one I lead now. The me in my head is so much stronger than I am.
Just take it away so I don't have to deal with anything anymore. I'm so full of pain and confusion that its just becoming hate. I hate feeling like this - and I know I'm the only one that can change it. I just have no idea how. Nothing makes sense, everything seems like its the wrong choice.
In my head my choices are different and I see flashes of a future and life so contrasting to the one I lead now. The me in my head is so much stronger than I am.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
song love
White lion – till death do us part
As we walk the golden mile
Down the pretty aisle
I know that you are mine
And there’s nothing in this world
That I know I wouldn’t do
To be near you every day
Every hour, every minute
Take my hand
And let me lead the way
All through your life
I’ll be by your side
Till death do us part
Baby I’ll be your friend
My love will never end
Till death do us part
When I wake up every day
With you lying in my arms
I wonder if I’m dreaming
When I look into your eyes
I just can’t believe it’s true
That my heart belongs to you
Baby we can have it all
Girl, Take my hand
And let me lead the way
All through your life
I’ll be by your side
Till death do us part
Baby I’ll be your friend
My love will never end
Till death do us part
There’ll be good times
And there’ll be bad
But I’ll stand beside you
Woman, All the way
And through the years
As life will put us through
When snow will fall on winter nights
I’ll keep you warm inside
All through your life
I’ll be by your side
Till death do us part
I’ll be your friend
My love will never end
Till death do us part
pixelworld
hello sweet violet drake - how i adore your glorious 310% wings :D
(safi the angel sends hora the hsr her love and hello's and hugs and happy thoughts!)
(safi the angel sends hora the hsr her love and hello's and hugs and happy thoughts!)
rambling
never jump to conclusions
never make assumptions
never take information as fact until it's been proven
everyone deserves a voice.
never make assumptions
never take information as fact until it's been proven
everyone deserves a voice.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Our Connection is Over
Our Connection is Over
Date: 2009-12-09, 3:11AM MST
I post this to an open forum, to purge these words from me so they can exist somewhere concrete, out in the Universe, instead of eating away at the corner of my mind when it gets dark and everyone else goes home with whoever they're loving or fucking or both if they're lucky. But it's winter now, so the season of long patio nights and random hookups and breathlessly exciting flings and sweaty sheets and sleepless nights has officially come to a close until the next turn of the seasons. In short, I can no longer distract myself from your absence.
You were my best friend. There were others before, and others after, but most of them only served to help me situate and recognize your importance in my life. If ever I get that close to another, I fear they will know me only as I am now, and not as how I got here. You have been my reflection, borne witness to me, helped me gauge my own growth in this long and convoluted life. Four different cities for you, two for me. Two countries on opposite sides of the world in different hemispheres. Plane tickets, train rides, international calling plans, endless conversation, anticipation, disappointment, breakups, makeups, death. Four years. My entire University career. I am indelibly marked with your presence.
And now nothing. I felt no more fireworks when we kissed. I pulled away, sickened with myself for trying to fake it. I couldn't fuck you like I meant it anymore. You noticed. You left.
And now, I am not lost. I am not sad and I am not afraid. But something has died. I do not love, or laugh, or notice color. I hate the music you like now. I hate myself for not loving you enough. You did nothing wrong, except maybe love me too much, too well. Even at the end, when our hearts were so twisted up we were spitting words unrecognizable to each other, even then you were too good to say what we were both thinking- that I won't find anyone else who loved me as you did. And you're right. Because the kind of love I had with you, the one that remakes your soul into something better, and forces you to recognize and honor the humanity in another person- that kind of love isn't what I'm looking for. I'm going for the cheap ones now. The guys with square jaws and big arms and small brains. They haven't read any philosophy, or possess the gift of playful banter, or looked me in the eyes and focused on my soul. I am not doing Us justice. I am taking the easy way. I am disgusting myself.
This is what's meant by falling out of love with someone. This is why half the world walks around heartbroken, glazed over, given up. I almost put that ring on and pretended everything was ok, but you didn't smell right anymore.
What Now.
((found here))
its all you.
you want me.
i want you.
you want me to live with my choices.
i beg and plead for you to stay, but you leave.
gone.
and what am i supposed to do? what more is there for me to do?
nothing i can do or say will change anything. so i
delete your mails
delete your pictures
delete my facebook
delete you off msn
it's what you wanted. i'm just doing what i can to make it easier for you.
i want you.
you want me to live with my choices.
i beg and plead for you to stay, but you leave.
gone.
and what am i supposed to do? what more is there for me to do?
nothing i can do or say will change anything. so i
delete your mails
delete your pictures
delete my facebook
delete you off msn
it's what you wanted. i'm just doing what i can to make it easier for you.
ruby red
Sometimes heartache is so intense that it’s not enough just to feel internally
Sometimes we need something of a more physical nature to really understand it, to control it.
Pick up a blade, feel the cool smooth surface as you hold it in your hands. It’s strangely soothing as you let the violent edge glide over your skin, wondering where to make your mark
In quiet contemplation you wonder how deep that first cut will be – how pale smooth skin will become ravaged ruby red… how many incisions will it take for your heart to heal?
Saturday, May 1, 2010
a day has passed
life feels like a sick and twisted game, the more i play the more i hate it. someone stole the rule book and rewrote it for me, and its come back even worse - when will this wretched game be over. i dont even care about winning anymore - there is no prize great enough to compensate for the loss.
song love
k's choice - not an addict
breathe it in, and breathe it out
and pass it on, its almost out
we're so creative, so much more,
we're high above, but on the floor
it's not a habit it's cool, i feel alive
if you dont have it you're on the other side
the deeper you stick it in your veins
the deeper the thoughts,
there's no more pain
i'm in heaven
i'm a god
and everywhere i feel so hot
it's not a habit its cool, i feel alive
if you dont have it your on the other side
i'm not an addict
maybe thats a lie....
it's over now, i'm cold, alone
i'm just a person on my own
nothing means a thing to me
oh nothing means a thing to me.
it's not a habit it's cool i feel alive
if you dont have it your on the other side
i'm not an addict
maybe thats a lie...
free me
leave me
watch me as i'm going down
free me
see me
look at me i'm falling and i'm falling
it is not a habit its cool i feel alive, i feel
it is not a habit it is cool i feel alive
it's not a habit its cool i feel alive
if you dont have it your on the other side
i'm not an addict
maybe thats a lie...
i'm not an addict
i'm not an addict
i'm not an addict
Friday, April 30, 2010
my light just went out
at a time there was a perfect balance, light and dark. but after a time the light got brighter and brighter.... almost overpowering. darkness hated the idea of the light being a larger part, so darkness grew, and clouded the light. the light was dimmed for a while, but never went out. eventually the light slowly started to get brighter again - almost tangible. the balance was almost reset, but then something happened. and the light left the darkness to take over. now there is nothing but cold, black darkness consuming every corner of my being.
pheremones
A pheromone (from Greek φέρω phero "to bear" + hormone from Greek ὁρμή - "impetus") is a secreted or excreted chemical factor that triggers a social response in members of the same species. Pheromones are chemicals capable of acting outside the body of the secreting individual to impact the behavior of the receiving individual.[1] There are alarm pheromones, food trail pheromones, sex pheromones, and many others that affect behavior or physiology.
thanks wikipedia :D
thanks wikipedia :D
painting
Shopping with my chica today for paint and canvas.... she has a pic she wants a painting of... :S i love the fact that she used the word abstract *kisses @ chica* should be a nice happy arty experience
song love
Hey There Delilah - Plain White T's
Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl, tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true
Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice, it's my disguise
I'm by your side
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me
Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me, girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good
Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame
Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This one's for you
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me.
Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl, tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true
Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice, it's my disguise
I'm by your side
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me
Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me, girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good
Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame
Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This one's for you
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
on second thought....
Well maybe I'm not at a complete loss... perhaps I have made one decision today :)
If I look at my life, and relationships and think of who is the most important to me, it gets a little overwhelming, who would I consider to be best friends, lady soul mates, acquaintances? Are there people that I wouldn't miss if I never heard from them again?
It occurred to me, that people who are indispensable, are the people that I have this uncontrollable urge to tell absolutely everything to. The good and the bad, even random uninteresting bits of information - and do they care about any of it? I really hope so.
One day in the ever so distant future, when I find a man to marry... I really hope he can be that for me, I want to marry my best friend, the person that I am excited to tell ridiculous things to, like my favourite song playing on the radio, that I was late because my socks are inside out, someone who understands the smarties, and the toilet paper... That is who I need my husband to be :)
It's a decision - and it really is liberating. Its also how I know I'm not ready for marriage now. Or I'd be marrying my lady-soul-mate :P
If I look at my life, and relationships and think of who is the most important to me, it gets a little overwhelming, who would I consider to be best friends, lady soul mates, acquaintances? Are there people that I wouldn't miss if I never heard from them again?
It occurred to me, that people who are indispensable, are the people that I have this uncontrollable urge to tell absolutely everything to. The good and the bad, even random uninteresting bits of information - and do they care about any of it? I really hope so.
One day in the ever so distant future, when I find a man to marry... I really hope he can be that for me, I want to marry my best friend, the person that I am excited to tell ridiculous things to, like my favourite song playing on the radio, that I was late because my socks are inside out, someone who understands the smarties, and the toilet paper... That is who I need my husband to be :)
It's a decision - and it really is liberating. Its also how I know I'm not ready for marriage now. Or I'd be marrying my lady-soul-mate :P
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
this is amazing!
The Awakening
(Author unknown)
A time comes in your life when you finally get…when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out…ENOUGH1 Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on. Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.
This is your awakening.
You realize it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon.
You realize that in the real world there aren’t always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you…and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are…and that’s OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.
You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself…and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.
Your stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you – or didn’t do for you – and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.
You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and everything isn’t always about you.
So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself…and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties…and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.
You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with.
You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for you next fix.
You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.
You learn that you don’t know everything, it’s not you job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not mean lonely.
You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.
You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.
You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drinking more water, and take more time to exercise.
You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You learn that no one can do it all alone, and that it’s OK to risk asking for help.
You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.
You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.
You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people…and you lean not to always take it personally.
You learn that nobody’s punishing you and everything isn’t always somebody’s fault. It’s just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.
You lean that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.
Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than you heart’s desire.
You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.
Finally, with courage in you heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.
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