Created by Oatmeal

glasgow 25-27 july

I'm over-the-moon-crazy-extatic-excited-mad-happy to be going to Glasgow! I'll be seeing a fantastic friend of mine, Trudy, and her wonderful boys! It's going to be so great!

It's so nice to start making plans for my holiday, 6 weeks today is take off... I should probably start making a list of things to take with me...

I Love lists! ;)

humble truths

I'd like to run away
From you,
But if you didn't come
And find me ...
I would die.
~ by Shirley Bassey ~

addicted

he's home

I just got the call, he's home and watching some news then having a little nap. Feeling a bit groggy but not sore or dizzy *squeals with excitement* It's like a weight's been lifted, now 6 weeks to get himself ready to fly!

20.9.2003

So much of my life is consumed by feelings and thoughts for the passed year. Most of my thoughts and feelings have been of him. To this day I cannot remember a single feeling that has been constant. He's been so many things to me, I've had so many different opinions of him. I've wanted nothing from him but love. Unfortunately I've lost. I've given him all the love I have, it's left me empty and his love is not there to fill the void. It never will be. Not a day goes by where I don't feel the heartache. I think of everything good that's ever happened but before long it leads to disappointment. That disappointment makes the pain 10 times more realistic. It is real. The way he feels is real. My idea of being with him is a dream...

My favourite dream

31 august in another trip around the sun...

Time speeds up
Tomorrow soon becomes yesterday
As I stand here the
Lies are stripped away
I stand here naked
All you see is me
Nothing is hidden
I stand here in honesty.

old school

Once upon a time
A little while ago
I thought I loved you
Until I let you go

I saw the way you left
Like you didn't really care
It's now become quite obvious
It's better with you there

It may be harder
Yes that's true
But I just cant
Handle seeing you

Definitely not now at least
Maybe the day will come
where we can have a conversation
Or something close to one

Maybe with time
Jealously will subside
Maybe a time will come
When I can admit I lied

I lied about my feelings
I hid them all from you
The fact that I was in love
Was very very true

If you had known
You would have run
And that would've ended
All my fun

For that bit of joy
I'll bear all this pain
It's a pity that things
Wont ever be the same again

old school

Tears begin to fall
flooding my life with rain
These arent just ordinary tears
they are ones born in pain
I can't believe it's happened
you and me apart
No matter how hard I try
I cant get you out of my heart

old school

I don't understand why you act this way. What you do. What you say. If there are signs I'm blind I cannot see and it seems you can't see what you do to me. How I feel I'm still unsure but I would be proud to be called yours. For now I'll look and not touch, until you let me do as much.

monday

I'm so thankful for warm hats, hot coffee and lovely mints. I'm thankful for amazing friends who eat seafood at the end of a little drive. I'm thankful for family that do so much by just carrying on as normal, welcoming me into their little comfort bubble that is my home away from home...

As horrific as life may seem sometimes, there is always something to be thankful for. Skies may be grey and moods bleak but you just need to remember the days of laughter in the sunshine and believe that they'll be back soon.